Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It's natural for parents to wish that their children can somehow sail through childhood without any disappointments, ever. But we know that kind of voyage is both impossible and also not very good preparation for knowing how to handle the disappointments that will definitely come their way as they become adults. Instead of hoping that there won't be any bumps in the road, parents need to accept the inevitable and develop their own strategies for training their children to deal with the many difficulties that life has in store. For those who take this reasoned approach, some of this parenting advice for teaching children about disappointment should come in handy .
  1. Children need to learn to be able to distinguish between serious disappointments and trivial ones.
  2. Share your small disappointments
  3. Acknowledge your kids disappointments and help them cope.
  4. Congratulate children when they handle disappointments reasonably.
  5. Allow children time and space to deal with disappointment.
Unfulfilled expectations and disappointment can cause children to become depressed. Here is how to identify signs of depression
  1. Reclusiveness or withdrawing from reality. God said it is not good for man to be alone. People need other people to stay connected to reality.
  2. A passive mind. Having an “I don’t care” attitude. Things that once mattered to them do not matter any more such as their personal upkeep and taking care of their surroundings.
  3. Magnifying difficulties. Turning small matters into huge problems.
  4. Lack of concentration. Their mind starts wandering from one subject to the next and they are unable to remain focused on anything. Parenting Advice for Teaching Children About Disappointment
How does one get rid of depression?
  1. Think different thoughts.
  2. Face the issue.
  3. Take action to break the depression by renewing your mind.
  4. Speak to your mountains and tell depression to leave!
  5. Let your spirit govern your mind. Speak to your mind and command your soul to be brought under subjection to the Word. The Word is an enemy to depression (Psalm 40:1-5). Winning Over Depression

Scripture References: •Galatians 3:13, AMP•Genesis 3:1-6•1 Peter 5:7, AMP•Psalms 40:1-5

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Higher Praise Tube - Christian Music Videos, Praise and Worship Videos, Lifehouse Everything Skit

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Having faith, and teaching your children to have faith, is an important part of the fundamental growth of your relationship with your child and will determine how your child sees the world. First, we have to understand what faith really means in order to embrace the thought process that will enable you to teach your child to live their life to its' full potential and believe in themselves. Faith is an acceptance of what we cannot see but feel deep within our hearts. Your actions are a direct result of your faith. Being able to have faith in one's self and in one's future is important, especially in trying times. Being an example of faith for your children will keep them on the right track. The dictionary defines faith as "Belief that something is true, in spite of evidence to the contrary". Christian faith is defined as "The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will." What is God's will, but that each of us may live an honorable life? Teaching faith is really instilling a set of principles and values in your children from a very young age in order that their actions will lead them onto a positive path. The same principles apply for every religion and ethnic background, so having faith is universal in spirit.

Faith is also verb, because it means we must act on what we believe. Faith, as we have seen, is the theological virtue of being secure in our belief. As children grow they are influenced by many things that cross their path in life like their parents' words and actions, things that happen in school and other children/adult relationships with them. All these experiences, both good and bad create the thought processes that follow them throughout their adult life. Instilling faith as a belief system as they grow into young adults is very important because it instills confidence in them, even when they fail in something. Teaching children to have faith in their own ability builds confidence and is the first step in being able to act upon it. By repeating daily words of confidence to your children, discussing choices that they make, both good and bad and encouraging them to take the initiative to act upon positive thoughts, will help them believe in themselves and will encourage them to do their best. Trusting your children to make the right decisions with your guidance gives them the freedom to develop their own faith and encourages them to make the right choices. That is the beginning of teaching faith. Parents' actions create the daily influences that determine the mindset of their children. To have consideration for others and to be honest in your intentions is what makes children grow into honorable adults. Having faith in others, not just themselves, allows them to view what happens on a daily basis in a non-judgmental way. Expecting respect and giving respect to people around you is something that should be automatic, but sometimes the simplest things become complicated and misguided. The lack of faith in all people creates bitter attitudes and allows the blame game to begin. All we have control over is ourselves. As parents, we have control over our children's development. Displaying faith through your own actions with your children will show them how important it is to believe in things without always seeing the physical evidence.

Long ago, someone made the analogy that faith is a lot like the wind. We cannot see the wind, nor can we hear the wind unless it blows against something, and we can only feel the wind when it touches our skin or rustles our hair. Faith is like that wind. We cannot see what we believe in, we cannot hear what we believe in unless we open our eyes to the truth, but we can sure feel that our faith is justified by the joy we feel in our hearts. Remember, in the end, we all put our faith in something, so let it be the truth. The old saying is, "the truth will set you free". Having confident belief in the truth of a person, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof is what faith is all about. This all starts with the faith in oneself. With faith, one has hope, trust, love, and the certainty that all things are indeed possible. Displaying that to your children and coaching them through their formative years will enable them to develop their own faith and to be a shining example of a life well lived....

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth." Kahlil Gibran

Denise Dema is a Business and Life Management Coach with over 20 years experience empowering individuals, entrepreneurs and business owners to attain self-defined success in their professional & personal lives. To learn more about the author and her practice please visit http://www.denisedema.com


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Putting life in order in old age is a challenging, crucial, and rewarding task. Most of us would want to leave behind more than garage sale giveaways. The elderly leave us a priceless gift when they bestow their knowledge, skills, and history to family and beloved friends. Helping a person with the task of leaving a legacy is an opportunity to benefit everyone involved.

Many families and individuals wait until it is too late. After my mother died I found many letters, photos, and maps from the early 70s when my parents had lived in Kuwait. I called the University of Washington Archives and learned that they would love to have this material, especially her letters—a unique source of primary history. My mother would have been thrilled, but I find it sad that she wasn’t the one to offer her correspondence for posterity.


Gertrude1, a brilliant master of the kitchen, created hand-crafted cookbooks in 3-ring binders for her six daughters. They treasure her recipes and the time she’s spent making certain that they could recreate her magnificent dishes.

Perhaps your mom is past making albums or remembering her recipes. Reminiscing together can still be meaningful. Try baking together in your kitchen. You may be surprised what familiar activities and delicious smells can trigger.


Jan, the capable mother of three successful adult children and proud grandmother of three, elevates photo albums to the highest level. She keeps one for each grandchild. More important, she and her husband take each child each year on a trip to an exciting destination such as Europe, the Galapagos Islands, and Costa Rica. The photos grandpa takes, along with mementoes, ticket stubs, descriptions and itineraries provide an elegant and indelible documentation of their expeditions. I wish Jan would transform some of my shoeboxes full of photos for me!


Going places together, whether to France or your local state park, can make pleasant new memories or help happy old memories emerge. Elderhostel, a non-profit travel organization for seniors and their families/guests, provides a structured environment, with a focus on accessibility and learning. Only one of you needs to be over 60, so don’t discount the possibility of traveling together.

Juanita, a highly-regarded gerontologist, together with her husband took her mother with mid-stage Alzheimer’s disease to Florence, Italy on an Elderhostel program. The trip provided quality time for all three of them, and because they stayed in a good hotel in two separate rooms, services like laundry, housekeeping, and room service took care of many of the caregiver tasks Juanita performed at home. Instead of cleaning the bathroom or preparing meals, Juanita went out with her mom and husband to sample the local cuisine, either as a threesome or with the larger group.

The one-week trip included an expert art historian, all their arrangements, and guided walks and museums trips. It was paced for older people, with plenty of time for rest—and at siesta time Juanita and her husband enjoyed lengthy walks through the romantic city. For more information check out the web site http://www.elderhostel.org/.


Leaving a legacy by creating a video or audio cassette of an older person’s memories is a wonderful activity. Wendy Lustbader describes the process of interviewing the elderly in her book, What’s Worth Knowing, (Tarcher, 2001):

Asking older people what they have learned from experience is an act of respect. I have found that it helps to have questions at hand that convey both need and hope—the need for special insight about what it means to live well, and the hope of using such wisdom to make a better life for the questioner. Here are some of the questions I use.

•What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you were young?
•What advice would you give a young person just starting out in life?
•If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently? What would you keep the same?
When talking to people with Alzheimer’s, be sensitive and circumspect about correcting them if they have difficulty recalling things. Instead, acknowledge the true emotions that emerge—positive or negative. If mom forgets that your father died last year and asks when he is coming home, don’t remind her of the painful truth. Ask her to recount how they met, their engagement, or some other happy time. She may not know what she had for breakfast, but probably she can still describe her wedding dress in loving detail.


Rose, a lively lady in her late 80s, declares, “My kids don’t need a thing—and they don’t expect anything either. They tell me, spend it all!” And she does. “My legacy is the contributions I’ve made to the museums and cultural institutions in Springfield. I’ve got my name on plaques! That’s something they can be proud of.”

While leaving a legacy is not about the stuff, keep in mind the cliché that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. When Alice’s father died, her sister-in-law took charge of giving his clothes to charity. She thought she was being kind and assumed that a 57-year-old female had no interest in an 86-year-old man’s heavily used clothing. Fortunately her dad had left a favorite Hawaiian shirt in the guest closet when he had last stayed with her. Alice wears it now with sweet, sad pleasure.


Sometimes the last years of life are beset with frailty. Toward the end of his life, my dad could barely hold a hammer, but he loved sanding the hand-built kayak my husband was working on. That quiet, meaningful activity was more valuable for them than any conversation.

Be sure to continue to include frail older people in family gatherings and events. Thanksgiving at the assisted living facility will never compare with Thanksgiving at your house. It may be a daunting challenge to get grandma, her wheelchair, and her Sunday best all organized for a wedding, a baptism, or Mother’s Day, but taking her to where the action is will be its own reward.


Sometimes what you learn about your family can help you prevent illness and perhaps even save your life (and those of others in your family). My dear friend Ann comes from a large family with numerous aunts and uncles. When Ann’s sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, they questioned their mother about their family medical history. With multiple siblings on both her mother and father’s sides, Ann drew a genogram to create a useful picture of who died of what, as well as information about other important medical conditions. This information helped Ann and her sisters commit to annual mammograms as well as glaucoma testing (glaucoma runs in families).


You never know what will make a beautiful memory. My oldest friend Mary recently emailed me from Australia. Our mothers had been close friends all the years Mary and I were growing up. Mary had recently been going through her mother’s books and found a book my mom had given her mom. Mary and I delighted in knowing our mothers had shared books and we both savored the treasure of the shared legacy of our mothers’ friendship.

Jeannette Franks, PhD, is a passionate gerontologist who teaches at University of Washington and Bastyr University; she is the author of a book on assisted living and numerous articles.

1 Some names in this article have been changed to protect privacy.

For more helpful info visit: A Place For Mom

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

This is one of my favorites! Reminding all that nothing is done with out Him. Let us not forget to praise and lift The Father up. Have a blessed day all.......

Monday, March 15, 2010

It is sometimes so hard to let go of issues or insecurities or situations because of fear. My oldest will be graduating from High School in the next 2 years and heading to college. The closer we get to that time the more concerns I have. Have I equipped her with all the necessary tools needed to go out into this world and survive? Not just get by. Removing her from certain elements have I crippled her judgment? Have I sheltered her to the point that I have ripped away her survival instincts? Moving from the inner city to suburbia? Was this the best thing? I have spoken to some of my church family and everyone says the same. You give her armour (the bible) and she's good along with what you have taught her and shared with her. But is she really? Will she be able to handle the cunning and slick ways of the world. Let go and let God is what I hear. But how do you do that when its your baby and as a mother your basic instinct is to protect at all cost. Or am I just not ready to let go? The bible says Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
How can I say I trust Him but question how He has brought us even to this point. I believe that once again my faith is being tested. She is not mine and never was. She just like I belongs to Him and He has never failed me yet. So I prepare for one of the greatest tests of a lifetime. I am proud and honored that he choose me for such a great task and pray that I have honored Him and above all He is proud of me thus far. I breathe in and breathe out and release and let go and let God.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I spoke to an old dear friend. One whom I'd lost contact with for years. So you can imagine we had so much to catch up on and share. Life experiences and what brought us closer to our faith. Sharing memories of our youth experiences and some of the most memorable people in our lives. I told him of my great grandmother. What a woman of faith she was. A real prayer warrior. She was definitely in a holy space in her life and had a remarkable relationship with God. Even as a child I wanted just an ounce of her faith and whatever it was that made me so drawn to her. The prayers she prayed morning, noon and night. The prayers she prayed for meals and special occasions. Her prayers of intercession. I learned them word for word and even incorporate a little of that today in my own talk with God. There is always someone in your life who leaves BIG footprints what I call A Spiritual Legacy of sorts. One that you may look back on and grasp a glimpse of strength and wholeness. I am creating my own Spiritual Legacy for my children and their children and so on. I want to leave my imprint. What type of imprint are you leaving behind?

The 411

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Somewhere In, Alabama, United States
I am a singer songwriter and aspiring author of childrens faith based books. As a single mother of 2 auspiciously rambunctious children I find myself in deep prayer and search of faith often. Jokingly so I have been given a job to do through precious gifts from God and I take this very seriously. Wanting to leave behind something tangible on the inside. I've done a lot of soul searching and digging back in my past. Trying to raise kids in a worldly world with good christian values? Not an easy task. I choose to find strength by feeding off the strong women before me as well as the strong women amoung me. Spiritual Legacies instilled in me from birth that I want to share. It takes a village.

Copyright 2010 A Spiritual Legacy.

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